Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
