I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
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