shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
