would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
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