Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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