sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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