I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
