I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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