He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
