what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
There r osticjed everywhere
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
