jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
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