What a fucking waste of an outfit
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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