i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
