Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
