he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Last time i carry you out of a forest
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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