Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
