If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
