i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
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