If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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