I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
