she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Couch. On fire.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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