Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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