How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
