You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
