i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
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