You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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