Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize