i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
