I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
