Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
