Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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