they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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