I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
