I want to have your abortion
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
