i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize