forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
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I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
it's great music for shaving your balls
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
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I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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