white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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