Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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