i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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