Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
