but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
