i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
