Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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