her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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