Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Sorry about my life...
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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