after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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