think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize