I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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