he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
this boner is exhausting
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
