Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
