Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
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I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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