on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize