So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
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He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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