There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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