apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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