They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Is it penis luge time yet?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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