ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
