My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
