this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
