his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
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