There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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