whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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