Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
